


Task Failed Successfully

by BlueQuills



Series: Hermitcraft and Dream SMP Oneshots - By Request [9]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, No Romance, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27663089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueQuills/pseuds/BlueQuills
Summary: Some of the hermits are idiotic enough to intoxicate themselves on an old batch of Moopop.Xisuma watches over them, and cuddles ensue.Also, this is not shipping. No. All fluff is platonic and between friends.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: Hermitcraft and Dream SMP Oneshots - By Request [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1993072
Comments: 15
Kudos: 127





	Task Failed Successfully

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so I don't write smut, you probably know that already, and I was kinda hesitant to write this, but I think it's pretty non-offensive? If anyone's uncomfortable with this (I think it's fine, but just in case for some reason), tell me and I'll take it down if needed.
> 
> Anyhow, here was the original request:  
> From:  
> Malinda (guest account)  
> Request:  
> (((MooPop (that stuff that HEP is making) is a lil just intoxicating enough for some of the hermits to have a fun, cuddly silly night)))
> 
> BTW, Malinda, if you ever get an actual account and want this work to be gifted there instead, please let me know :D
> 
> So that's that. Also, some of you may know that I have a Wattpad, and I must admit that I'm a lot more active on there, simply because Wattpad is so much more interactive. Also, because it's so media-friendly, I have an art book there of fanart I've drawn that will not be on AO3 (AO3's multimedia system is awful), you can find me @BlueQuills_ there if that interests you. 
> 
> Oh, and I have a Youtube channel now for speedpaints, @Blue Quills, so uh yeah. I like drawing Techno wayyy too much...
> 
> Aight, enjoy.

Grian preened his wings, gently running his fingers across the vanes of each feather and admiring their soft coppery sheen. His wings were cream coloured, but with a slight glimmer of amber, as if dipped in gold dust.

Hearing sound of wind rushing through feathers, he lifted his head, glancing towards the entrance of the new Mycelium headquarters and smiled as Impulse dove in through the door, his black and yellow streaked wings flared. 

“Nice work!” He exclaimed, gesturing in excitement at the walls around them. 

Grian had built a mushroom house, seeing it very fitting for their cause. He grinned.

"Glad you like it!"

Impulse landed and folded his wings, turning to admire the interior. "Well, this one looks a lot harder to make a replica of." His tone was teasing.

Grian laughed. "I still can't believe you spent six hours recreating our entire last base!"

"I _am_ the head of distractions, am I not?" Impulse smirked. "I take my job very seriously."

Grian rolled his eyes, flicking his wings back and folding them neatly across his back. "What do you say we go infiltrate the HEP base?"

"Uh..." Impulse blinked, a little confused. "And this is because…"

Grian gave a small smile. "Nothing. It was just really fun last time."

Impulse nodded thoughtfully, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he spread his wings slowly. "Now?"

"Unless you have plans?"

He smirked. "None"

* * *

Grian blinked. "Uh... they blocked off the chimneys"

Impulse tilted his wings, the yellow tips of his raven-black feathers catching the sunlight as he glided effortlessly above the roof of HEP's base. "Maybe I could try to figure out the door?"

Grian nodded, hovering in place, his wings beating frantically to keep him in the air as he tried to get a steady overview of the entire base. "I don't see any other ways in."

Impulse folded in his wings, diving towards the ground as a new voice called out.

"How about a real tour this time?"

He and Grian both whirled around, recognizing the voice before he even caught sight of its owner. "Tango!"

Tango grinned, his red and gold wings spread, swooping casually from where he had been inspecting Decked Out. "What do you say?"

Grian raised his eyebrow. "A _real_ tour?"

"Oh yes," Tango agreed. "I'll go gather some employees, and we'll show you around. It's a fascinating place, really."

"Fascinating ways to die." Impulse grumbled, amused, prompting a laugh from Grian.

"I'll be right back!" Tango called, deciding to take their answer as a yes, turned and flapped his wings, vanishing into the chaos of the towering, colourful builds of the shopping district.

Impulse turned to Grian. "Just _what_ have we just gotten ourselves into?"

Grian stretched his wings, straightening the shafts of his flight feathers. "Lighten up, this'll be fun!"

"Mhm." Impulse agreed, not at all convinced. He landed and sat down, his wings ruffled from their short flight, waiting for Tango to return. In no time at all, wingbeats sounded in the air and he lifted his head, scanning the sky. He could see Tango, the red on his wings shining brightly against the hazy blue sky, with Xisuma, Bdubs and Mumbo, excitement glowing on their faces.

Impulse opened his wings, but closed them again as he saw that the HEP members were coming in for a landing.

"Hello!" He greeted them.

"Hi Impulse!" Xisuma responded, beaming, folding in his brown and yellow wings and glancing up at Grian who was starting to pull into a dive.

They all paused for a moment as Grian swooped down, landing gracefully in front of Tango and grinned. "Hi HEP people! Tour time?"

Mumbo chuckled, while Bdubs sputtered indignantly. "HEP people?!?"

"Well... unless you aren't on HEP's side?" Grian asked innocently. "In fact, I could have sworn I saw people who's faces looked a lot like you the during the last tour..."

Bdubs rolled his eyes, amused, whacking Grian gently with his sky-blue wings, the shorter hermit ducking to avoid it. 

Impulse smirked, gesturing at the rather impressive giant door that led to the inside of the factory. "Are you going to reveal how your doors are opened to us?"

Xisuma chuckled. "To be fair, you basically already know, you just don't have the key."

"You are annoying correct." Grian grumbled, trying to hit Bdubs back. Xisuma sighed and separated the two by flaring his wings and sticking one between them, rolling his eyes. "Tango, can you open the door?"

Tango grinned. "On it!" He fished out a card from his pocket and slid it into the barrel beneath his feet. There was a loud grinding sound, and the giant concrete door slid open, revealing the yawning inside.

Impulse nodded, admiring all the fancy machines and contraptions that filled the interior. "Nice."

"Well, it would be if it had worked." Tango grumbled, gesturing at his still broken Mycelium Destroyificator. "I forgot to take into account different types of redstone signals when linking it to the final block of mycelium, and it blew itself up!"

"Oooh." Grian nodded, looking amused. "I thought it was just supposed to hand us all the Mycelium, out of the goodness of your hearts."

Tango smirked. "You should now us better than that!"

Grian shrugged, summoning an innocent expression. "What can I say? I just like to think the best of everyone."

Xisuma nodded, not at all convinced, but eager to get on with the tour. "Alright Mycelium people. Head on inside."

* * *

"That was actually just a tour." Grian observed, not sure whether to be disappointed or relived, and he settled on mixture of both. "It didn't even kill us once!"

Impulse nodded in agreement. "That could have gone a _lot_ worse." He fiddled with the edge of his red T-shirt that read "I am not a _moo_ sed", which he had just gotten at a gift shop that neither of them had known existed.

Tango smirked. "Well, there is one room you haven't seen."

Grian perked up instantly. "Oh! Show us! It's going to be a trap, but I want to see!" Impulse nodded in agreement.

Xisuma rolled his eyes, flicking his wings back and forth out of boredom. "It's just an old vault. We can't open it, it's rusted shut."

Tango hesitated. "Actually, I might have a way..."

They all turned to look at him.

"And the way is?" Bdubs prompted, excited, his wings flaring to their full size.

"Uh, TNT."

"Of course it's TNT," Xisuma grumbled, amused. "Why am I even surprised."

Tango grinned. "You really shouldn't be."

Xisuma shrugged, the golden stripes on his wings glinting brightly in the dusty shafts of sunlight that streamed in from the window. "Well, are you exploding it or not?"

"Right now? I need to get the TNT first!" Tango laughed. "I don't just have TNT on me wherever I go!"

"You don't?" Grian sounded genuinely surprised. "I mean... out of all the hermits-"

"I used to, but then once there was a little spark on a project I was working on." Tango explained, wincing at the memory, simultaneously embarrassed and amused.

"Oh. OH-" Impulse widened his eyes, wings flicking open.

"Yeah." Tango agreed. "It wasn't fun."

* * *

_Bang._

A giant section of the old brick wall crumbled to the ground, dust blooming in the air, the rusted metal vault door blown clean off its hinges and landing in a twisted heap on the ground nearby. The hermits peered into the darkness curiously.

"Is that..." Xisuma's voice trailed off, his eyes adjusting to the darkness first.

Tango flared his wings in excitement as his eyes adjusted to the dark. "It's a saved stock of Moopop!"

Grian made a noise of curiosity. "Can I try some?"

Impulse laughed, his wings flicking outwards. "I thought _you_ thought it was gross!"

"I did," Grian admitted, "back when I thought it was carbonated milk!"

"You thought Moopop was carbonated milk?" Bdubs gasped, chuckling. "That does sound really gross!"

Grian smirked. "So, what do you say?"

Xisuma shrugged nonchalantly. "I mean... why not?"

Tango walked into the vault, his footsteps echoing loudly, and grabbed a bottle, carefully brushing the thick dust off the label with his thumb. "Wow, these were made back with the old recipe!"

"There was an old recipe?" Mumbo questioned, his pale green wings quivering in excitement. Tango bobbed his head, handing a bottle to Grian who studied it in fascination.

"Yeah." Xisuma responded. "We don't actually know what the recipe was though, just that it was changed a couple years ago." His wings were fluffed up, the way they did when he was thinking hard about something.

Mumbo nodded. "Maybe we shouldn't drink it th-"

He broke off as Grian immediately popped the cap off his bottle and took a sip. A radiant grin broke out on his face. "Try it! It's good!

"Uh." Mumbo hesitated, mentally facepalming, sharing a worried glance with Xisuma. The admin sighed, used to his friends all acting as if they had a singular shared braincell.

Tango tipped his bottle back, swallowing a mouthful. He nodded thoughtfully. "Not bad at all. It has an... interesting quality to it."

Bdubs took a bottle for himself, drinking slowly. He nodded in agreement enthusiastically. "A little sweeter than the current one, but with a weird but kind of good taste?"

Mumbo sighed. "Curiosity killed the cat." He muttered, then twisted the cap off and tasted it, raising his eyebrows as Xisuma gave him a mock-disappointed look. "This _is_ really good!"

Xisuma paused, taking a bottle cautiously and peering at the content, then sniffed it delicately. He sighed as he recognized the scent. "You idiots, this is alcoholic!"

"Oh." Grian giggled, already looking slightly drunk. "Nice."

Xisuma rolled his eyes. This wasn't the first time he had to deal with drunk hermits before, and it certainly would not be the last considering how careless some of them were. 

"Lets go back to my base." He grumbled, wings puffed up in amusement. "Someone has to keep an eye out for you ridiculous hermits."

Impulse chuckled. "Thanks X."

Xisuma rolled his eyes. "No problem, Impulse. I must admit though, when Generik told me that I would have to take on a lot of admin responsibilities, I never thought of this as being one."

* * *

Xisuma watched the hermits, wings folded contently around himself, working half-heartedly on some code, keeping an eye on his slightly intoxicated friends.

Grian was talking with Mumbo about potatoes, who nodded once in a while drowsily, half asleep in a warm armchair. Tango and Impulse were trying to throw pillows at each other, but were lacking hand-eye coordination, which meant that Bdubs and Xisuma, despite sitting a good couple meters away from the chaotic duo, often had to duck. Bdubs had somehow gotten his hands on a Bdubs mask, probably from Grian or Impulse, and was staring at it with intense fascination, his eyes wider than usual.

The sun was setting slowly, casting pools of thick shadow into the jungle, a few small stars already starting to glitter in the rapidly darkening sky. The horizon was still light, a soft streak of mango yellow and peachy orange, fading into nothingness. The air took on a colder tone, sweeping silently through the foliage.

Impulse scooted closer to Xisuma and tapped the admin on the shoulder gently. “Hey. Can I put on a firework show?”

“No.” Xisuma stared at him firmly. “I learned my lesson after last time.”

“Last time?” Impulse tilted his head curiously, wings flicking out.

Xisuma sighed, glancing at Tango, who also didn’t appear to remember. “Yes, last time. You said fireworks, and I agreed, and then found out that you meant TNT.”

“Oooh.” Impulse blushed. “I was going to do that this time.”

Tango walked over, whacking Impulse with a pillow, and glanced at Xisuma. “Please.”

“No.”

Impulse sputtered and flared out his wings, smacking Tango with his unfurled feathers, Tango yelping in surprise.

Xisuma ducked as Tango swung again with his pillow, and bit back his laugher as Tango hit Bdubs with it instead of Impulse.

Bdubs jumped up, excited. “Pillow fight!”

“PILLOW FIGHT!” Tango screamed, instantly being cut off as Impulse grabbed a cushion from the sofa nearby and whacked Tango in the face with it.

Impulse cackled, and Bdubs jumped at him, smothering him under a giant pillow in a tangle of limbs and feathers. “Aha!” Bdubs yelled triumphantly, Impulse’s wings folding to smack him gently.

“You thought you won?!” Grian shouted suddenly, chucking a pillow at Bdubs who yelped and fell backwards, releasing Impulse and he sprang out from under the giant pillow, grinning.

Mumbo ducked as Tango threw a pillow at him, then retrieved it and threw it back, nailing Tango and he fell backwards dramatically, clutching his chest. “Oh, I’ve been hit! I’m down! I’m down!”

Impulse scrambled over to his friend. “Ha. Serves you right.”

Tango gave a fake gasp, eyes wide. “Impulse! I thought you were on my side!” He gave another overdramatic wheeze, then closed his eyes, falling limp. After a moment of thinking, he stuck out his tongue.

Impulse fell on to him, hugging him. “Oh no! What would I do without my best friend? How can I bring him back?” Laughter bubbled in his voice.

Tango opened one eye. “You called me your best friend! My life’s goals are complete!”

Bdubs scooted over, gently whacking Tango with a pillow, and Grian grabbed it, throwing it backwards at Mumbo who toppled out of his armchair.

Xisuma sighed as a gust of chilly air swept into the tower, the night already thick outside, an impenetrable wall of darkness, tiny pinpoints of light shining in the sky, twinkling.

Tango felt it too. “Cold.” He complained, shivering.

Impulse leaned closer to him, spreading his wings, covering both of them in fluffy downy feathers, and lay down, one arm behind his head. “Warm?”

Tango nodded, smiling.

Bduds exhaled. “It _is_ cold!” He grumbled, and Impulse reached out with his free arm, pulling him into the pile of limbs as well. He yelped in surprise, and then snuggled closer, his wings fluffing up.

Grian jumped into the pile, making a noise of excitement, and everyone who was in it made a sound of alarm. The red-sweatered hermit merged into the heap of tangled limps and feathers, grinning, and then leaned forwards and dragged Mumbo into it as well, who flared his wings, covering everyone in redstone dust.

“Sorry.” Mumbo could barely contain his laughter, and the rest of the hermit merely shook their heads, much too used to getting covered in the stuff whenever they got near him.

Soft, colourful wings draped over the hermits and they all smiled, seeming very satisfied that they had created a mountain of cuddles.

Tango raised his head, glancing at Xisuma. “You coming?”

Xisuma paused. “Uh.” He started to edge away from the pile, and instantly, Tango leapt at him, wings unfurling, and pulled him in.

It _was_ warm.

He wondered for a moment if he should fight his way out of the pile – he was supposed to be working, after all, but couldn’t bring himself to. Instead, he melted into the embrace of his friends, his family, and closed his eyes contently.

_Well that had been a very interesting day._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm never writing intoxication again, I can't deal with this much fluff while making it not weird and oddly romantic/ship-like.
> 
> Also, I'm working on the Christmas/festive special, and it's actually going to be a kinda Two Worlds prequal Oneshot, as in it could be seen as a backstory, and I am writing it as a backstory, I just don't know if I like it enough such that I want it to be cannon to my AU.
> 
> So yeah, if you have a request, leave it in part one of this series, and i hope you enjoyed!


End file.
